this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
