We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
