did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
