So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You need a sexual gate keeper
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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