rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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