Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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