i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
