My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He did a backflip because drugs
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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