Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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