Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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