Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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