I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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