You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
