More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
