Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
