I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
