I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
