I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
