She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
