Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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