I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ladies don't puke and tell
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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