ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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