Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
