I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
