My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
