And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
