we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
