when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There r osticjed everywhere
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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