They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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