Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
