I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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