Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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