my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
