When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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