I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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