I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
