Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
