I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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