Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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