Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
