goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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