i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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