Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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