Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
