Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
