she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
