Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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