**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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