I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
you made out with another girl for some wings
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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