But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
